Seek Him First

You know… I have been realizing lately just how obsessed I am with the things of this world. I die over everything. I obsess over every new POP!, Tsum Tsum, movie trailer, etc.

And I also have been realizing that I’ve become selfish, though I hate to admit it. I’m always wanting or “needing” more and needing it now before my brain explodes and I crumble into hopelessness of never being able to buy what I want.

Last night I had a talk with my mom that I was “frustrated with my faith.” Though that was a bad word choice, so I quickly corrected to – “I’m frustrated with myself.”

For so long now I’ve found myself going up and down, up and down with my relationship with God. I’ll be going on the right track for a while and then – BAM! “AAAAH THAT TRAILER WAS SO AMAZING OH MY GOSH!!!” Or “Oh. My. Gosh. I need those POP!s. WHEN DO THEY COME OUT?!”
The things of this world can draw me away from God within the blink of an eye. My life that was striving towards being consumed by God instantly reverts into a life consumed of worldly things that in the end will only pass away and will never satisfy.

After having a long talk with my mom last night about all of this, I went into bed and read a devotion. I was completely blown away by how relevant it was to me at that time.

This morning I read another devotion and a chapter of Luke and again was blown away by the relevance to my situation.

God is speaking to me. He’s helping me to realize just how far I’ve strayed. Just how much I have put the things of this world before Him. How I’ve worshiped and idolized them and have only fallen deeper into the obsessions.

I do see and know that I’ve been doing wrong. And I really, really want to fix this. I know I can’t do it alone, though – God has to help me through this. He provides the strength I need to turn away and once I turn, I know I will be ever so much more satisfied and joyful.

Worldly things do make me happy, yes. But for how long? A little bit? And then immediately after I need something more? I may think that I am satisfied, but really, I’m not. I’m always wanting more.

I’m going to share with you now a few excerpts from my devotional book and a few verses that stood out to me:

“God wants his people to live in the light. He wants the light to keep burning continually. There was a time when we lived in darkness, but when we met Jesus the lights were turned on and everything that was hidden was seen. As a God Girl you can’t let yourself go back into darkness….. Sin hides in the dark, but when we shine the light on our lives, it can no longer hide.”

“No more ‘lights out’ moments where you do what you would never do if the lights were on. Encourage the light by praying, studying, and looking for opportunities to bring your own sins into the light.”

“Now a certain young ruler asked Him, saying, “Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?”…..So when Jesus heard these things, He said to him, “You still lack one thing. Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”
And when Jesus saw that he became very sorrowful, He said, “How hard it is for those who have riches to enter the kingdom of God! For it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” Luke 18:18,22,24-25

Honestly, I feel a bit like the rich young ruler. He was sorrowful that Jesus was asking him to give up his riches because he was very rich. That’s a bit how I feel knowing that in order to fix my problem, I’m going to have to give something up that I love. But I know that in the end, it will be worth it.

When something you own becomes the most important thing in your life, it teeters on idolatry. An idol is anything that you obsess about, that you need, that you can’t live without. The only thing that you truly can’t live without, other than food and water, is the presence of God in your life. And when things overshadow that need or even try to fill it, danger is in the air.”

That section right there. It’s really speaking to me. I obsess, I “need” things, I can’t live without things. That just shows me how messed up I am.

And girls, I want to take a moment to apologize. Over the years I know I have encouraged a lot of you to fangirl, to obsess. I’ve brought a lot of you into fandoms that I know are hard to let go of. Honestly, I regret that so much. I’ve influenced you in a wrong way – in a worldly way – when I should have been shining the light of God to all of you. Instead, I think I may have steered some of you away from Him. And I’m so sorry for that.

Now, it is okay to like things. I’m not saying you can’t like anything. What’s wrong is the obsession. The need. That’s when we idolize things and that is wrong. When God said, “You shall not have any other gods before Me.”, He wasn’t only speaking about the other religious gods people have created – He’s also talking about the gods that we create in our everyday lives. We idolize so much and we don’t even realize it. God – our one, true, Lord and Savior – is the only God that we should be worshiping.

From now on I am striving to change. I want to let go of things and be the person that God wants me to be. I want to get on track with God and have Him be the center of my life instead of allowing the things of this world to rule over my life.

“You are my treasure and my reward. Let nothing ever come before.”
Lauren Daigle


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Thoughts About the Future…

I’ve been thinking a lot about my future lately. As a 17 year-old, that’s only natural. I’ll be turning 18, graduating, and then what? Will I get a permit? Will I get a job? Will nothing change right away? Or will changes suddenly be thrust upon me?

To be honest, I’m scared. It’s scary to turn 18. After all, that’s when you’re considered an adult! You’ll start to take on more responsibilities and more will be expected of you.
Graduating? Oh, I’m super excited for that! No more school!!! *toots horn*

But…. Then what? With my brother’s wedding quickly approaching, I realize how fast time flies. He started dating his bride-to-be 2 years ago? What?! And didn’t he just get a job and his licence? Nope. That was years ago, but the memories are still so fresh in my mind, that it seems like just yesterday. And now he’s going to be a husband in just a month!

I think that’s partly what’s making me so scared. Seeing how quickly his life changed and wondering if it’s going to be that way for me. What if I do get married in a few years? That’s impossible for me to even comprehend. I don’t even know who my future husband is yet!

Where will I meet him; and how? Will it be love at first sight, or will it gradually grow?

And getting a job?! I admit, there is a part of me that’s anxious to get a job, but another part of me that’s completely terrified. I don’t do well under pressure and I’m a slow learner. I’m worried I’ll be a complete failure. But still, there’s this part of it that seems so fun! And who wouldn’t love to make some money on a regular basis, right?

The future is a scary thing. You don’t know what it holds for you. To us, the future is a blank page.

But here’s something I’m trying to focus on – God already knows what the future holds for me. He sees my whole life laid out before Him. And though my flesh is terrified, I need to work on changing that fear into trust. I need to trust that God has the perfect life planned out for me and know that He will never give me more than I can handle.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,” says The Lord, “Thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

Are you afraid of the future? Does it seem to be coming too quickly for you, too?

I encourage you, do not be afraid. God’s got this all in His hands. In the meantime, you can pray about it. Pray for guidance on where you should work. Pray for your future husband daily. And, above all, pray for peace, strength, and wisdom to help you overcome your fear and to make wise choices when your future suddenly becomes your present. :)


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Out With The Old, In With The New

Have any of you ever stopped to think about how much this world has changed since you were a little kid? I have, and I’ve been thinking about it more and more these days.

I realize that when I was little, the world didn’t seem to have many problems. I knew there was still bad stuff in the world and not good things going on, but when I look back, it seems like it wasn’t nearly as bad as it is now.

I feel like just about every day there’s something I hear that’s happening in the world, or how people are acting, that honestly makes me feel sick. There is such evil in this world, so much darkness. So much hate, pain, and suffering (this isn’t a Star Wars reference, I’m being real here).

People in this world are unsatisfied with what they have and are always seeking more and more, hoping that the new big thing will fill that void, but it won’t. It’s just a circle we keep spinning around in.

I miss the old days. When people seemed more pleasant and life seemed better. It saddens me to realize that things are only going to get worse (before it gets better). But together, we can help make this world what it used to be. You all have a Light inside you. A Light that is just begging to shine for all the world to see. “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in Heaven.” ~Matthew 5:16

I’m gonna be honest here, lately I’ve been feeling blah and depressed. I didn’t know why until yesterday. I realize I’m not satisfied. I want more. I’m becoming bored with the same thing I’m doing each day. But you know what? Doing new things isn’t going to completely satisfy me (though it’s great to do new things). The only thing that can truly satisfy me is the love and joy I have in Christ Jesus. He is our satisfaction. We have eternal joy in him. It’s not something we have to ask Him for when we need it, we already have it inside us. We just need to dig deep inside ourselves and allow it to come out.

I challenge you (me included) to be full of joy this week. Shine the Light of God to those around you that they may see something special, something different about you. That spark of joy that others long for. We are God’s children, and don’t children love to brag about their parents? Then how much more so should we be boasting in The Lord!

We can make a change in this world. Be joyful, be kind, be courageous. It’ll be contagious. In with the old, out with the new 😉


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Modesty & True Beauty

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about modesty and true beauty.

This summer I have been having an extremely hard time trying to find a modest swimsuit. It’s honestly sickening that there are hardly any one pieces sold anymore. And the ones there are, the prints are ugly. All the cute prints are used on the hundreds of bikinis, unfortunately.
Is this really what our world has come to? Just think of how people used to dress hundreds of years ago. Women covered their entire body – if a woman’s ankle showed, it was scandalous.
Then eventually, it became okay to show your ankles. Then your arms, then shoulders.
In the time we’re living in now, girls expose their entire legs, their stomachs, backs – just about every part of their body. Girls in church even dress this way.

1 Timothy 2:9-10 says;
“….in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but which proper for women professing godliness, with good works.”

To quote the notes in my Bible; “The emphasis is that women should dress appropriately when at worship, and not put on extravagant clothes that draw attention to themselves. Propriety means reverence and respect, shrinking away from what is inappropriate.”

God doesn’t want us to dress inappropriately, He wants us to be modest and not wear things that bring attention to ourselves. It’s sad that girls these days feel like they need to dress a certain way to be “beautiful.” True beauty comes from within and it’s really what’s inside you that’s important.

“Do not let your adornment be merely outward – arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel – rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” 1 Peter 3:3-4

“For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

Practice true beauty. Be the person God wants you to be. Kindness, love, self-control, compassion, strength, faith, trust, generosity, – these are all things that make you truly beautiful. :)


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Starting Over

Hi everyone! I know it’s been a while since I posted, but wow – May has been a crazy busy month!

Today, I’m going to tell you all something about me that you probably don’t know…

I have anger problems. Really bad. Sometimes I get so mad at things – things that aren’t even worth being so upset over. And I hold onto my anger until it just sort of fades away.

I got really mad today. Ridiculously mad. I wanted to scream and I even slammed my fist on my computer desk because I was so frustrated.

How I’ll react when I’m mad:

1. I’ll start yelling.
2. My eyes will get really wide.
3. I’ll start crying.
4. You might find me hit a pillow or my computer desk or something.
5. I’ll dwell on my anger.

I’m sure some of you can relate to at least one of those things. Everyone gets mad, it just happens. But sometimes we get too mad at little things.

What I got mad at today, was my crochet pattern. I was typing it up, trying to get it ready to release today, but it was so confusing to me that I myself could hardly figure out what I did. And I started to get so frustrated. I didn’t know how I was supposed to write what I did and I didn’t know how others were supposed to figure out how to make it. Finally, I burst. I was so done. So I went on my bed and just dwelt on my problems, but at the same time, trying to figure out how to get out of this mood. Mostly, though, I was just dwelling on my problems. I was convinced this day couldn’t get any better and that I was going to be in a bad mood all day.

Then I texted my mom (yes, she was in the other room, but I didn’t wanna go out and talk): “I just wanna start this day over.”

How many times have you said that in your life? Sometimes your day just goes really bad and you feel like you can’t get through the rest of it.

My mom replied with: “Well you can. At any point. Breathe. Pray.”

I set my phone down and rolled over and just started crying. I knew she was right. I had even thought how I needed to pray, but I didn’t want to. I felt like it wouldn’t help. But, I sat up, closed my eyes and cried silently as I prayed.
I gave my problems over to God and I asked Him to help me. Then I started singing lyrics in my head from two different songs:

“Lord I need you, oh I need you. Every hour I need you.”
“You find me here at Your feet again. Everything I have, reaching out I surrender.”

Then the craziest thing happened – I realized I was smiling and the tears had stopped. God did help me through it. He helped me to let go of my anger and start my day over. After all that, I got my crochet items all set for pictures while I listened to some worship songs by Lauren Daigle. Her songs are so uplifting. If you haven’t already, I recommend you listen to How Can It Be, First, and Trust In You. They’re great :)

So here is my advice for you when you’re having a bad day, dealing with a lot of problems, or if you’re angry at something:

1. Have some alone time. If you feel like you need to cry, just let it out. I personally feel like holding it in makes me feel worse.
2. Pray. Hand it all over to God. He’ll take it from there.
3. Once you start feeling better, listen to praise songs the rest of the day. It’ll help keep you on the right track – in a happy, positive mood.

I know it can be hard to let go of your anger, but don’t hold onto it. Doing that only leaves you feeling miserable, as well as the people around you. Your moods really affect other people. You can start your day over at any time, just ask God for help :)

“So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” Luke 11:9


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